Is it wrist slitting time now?

I'm going to keep this short and sweet...

I feel like I've had a crappy weekend and have felt lonely even though I'm not alone. I've been in pain most of the weekend with cramps. Today Dave upset me. I've had a shitty day of gaming and now I feel pretty fucking depressed and just want to lie in bed and cry if for no other reason than I'm hormonal. Of course the vodka doesn't help.

I'm going to bed. CBA anymore.

Angry Cloudy

I'm really fucked off now... Dave made me feel so shit tonight for talking to people I play Unreal with.

Yes, I see the point. I value my privacy. You read my messages what's next? Reading my mind?

OK so that's unfair but I'm saying it because I'm angry.

I'm trying to organise a couple of new PcX members at the moment... these guys are realy cool and fun to play with so I don't want to miss out on getting them on board and I'm messaging a lot in forums and via email so I guess that's a problem for Dave who posts daily on a writing forum that he set up.

Anyway I don't want to think about this stuff now... too tired.

**I lost half of this post last night due to blogger fucking up so I guess I'm just going to have to write something else later on**

Stuff and Things...

Ok well today I'm off work YAY! I was meant to be going to town with Harriet, Charlotte and Ahmed for his birthday but he's had to go to London for some court hearing his friend is invloved with and he's basically had to stay there so our plans got cancelled. To top if off I've been asked to work his shit tomorrow because he's called in sick. I don't really mind doing it but it throws off Dave's working plans and any plans we might have had for the evening. Still... I'm of at the weekend so I guess that should make up for it all.

Today Dave and I went to Stockport to look at laptops. I think he's decided what to get, pretty quickly for him I might add, which is cool. Hopefully he'll be happy when he gets it.

I've got my eye on buying a new gaming chair as the huge beanbag we have is on its last legs now. I want one of those rocker gaming chairs with speakers in the side :D they look cool. I've got free money at Argos at the moment too because I've done 5 years of McService (for the second time now seeing as I quit after 6 years the first time) so I'm spending that on one of those chairs and a new cordless phone. The one we have at the moment doesn't hold charge for more than 30mins when disconnected from the cradle.

Something I'm also looking into buying is a new headset for gaming. The one I have doesn't seem too bad but I think that people might have trouble hearing me because I'll say something and no one replies lol. It might just be me "slapping the tard" (recently acquired funny phrase though I can't remember it's origin exactly I remember it being piss funny when it was concieved ) or it might be my headset. I guess I'll ask people tonight if they can hear me well compared to other folk. I'll try faffing with some settings too but I don't want to cause a load of feedback, which will just piss people off :(

Last night would have been so good had the match I followed a friends into not had the worst ping ever... and there were 2 guys on my team talking about fucking girls, girls being wet, and girls being able to push guys dicks out of them just by squeezing :O Then when I actually spoke up one of them was like "did I just hear a chick?" Oh yeah you did just hear a chick and she's been listening to all your little comments about vaginas etc lol. The other one kept putting his mic on so we could hear the music he was playing too... that was fucking annoying. Eventually some more of my friends popped in and we had a couple of good matches before the ping got too bad then buggered off in favour of playing something a little less manic and a little more enjoyable :) those guys crack me up :D

I find it's the people that keep me addicted to playing Unreal. If I didn't have anyone cool to play with I'd be bored as hell...

Faisal is on holiday at the moment, I'm sure Ive said, but when he comes back we need to get some practice done. Rikan and I seem to be the only 2 left out of the 3 who swore to keep PcX alive. Corrupted has taken a slot in SRC. Don't get me wrong I wish the kid well... he's a decent lad, and the SRC boys (and girl) are damn cool but I can't help feeling a little put out. I see him moving over completely even though he's promised that he's still with us and with PcX. My gut feelings aren't often wrong and this one doesn't feel quite right :(

OK enough of that... Unreal will take care of itself I guess, now I need to go take care of me.... Bath time :)

Curious Feeling I'm Missing Something

Yesterday was like the busiest day of the year so far... we got absolutely slammed with record sales and it just felt like it was non-stop.

Today there's not a soul in sight, well that's an exaggeration but not too far from the truth. Because it's so quiet I was allowed a later start :D Kirsty watched my shift while I slept in and got double sleep last night. Yeah you heard me... double sleep lol whoop whoop!

Was pretty damn tired last night but still played Unreal until after 6am and then PSN went down on me (not literally because that would firstly be impossible and would secondly be disturbing) right in the middle of me saying my goodbyes to people and I couldn't get back on so I just gave up.

So today I'm a little less tired but I have a huge headache and no painkillers to drug myself up on until I get home in about ooooh 5 hours :(

Tomorrow is Ahmed's birthday and I'm meant to be going shopping with him, Harriet and Charlotte tomorrow... we're halping him re-vamp his wardrobe lol. I still haven't got him anything really so I'll have to do a bit of improvising when we're in Manchester.

I feel like I've missed someone's birthday in the past couple of days... yesterday possibly or the day before but seeing as I can't remember whose I guess I must be going crazy. It's just a gut feeling I have.

I've joined a ladies only group for Unreal... I was severely torn between chosing a funny name like bettyswallox or lik-mike-litoris or lady-schlong (lady-garden as Dave suggested) but I went with something generic.. not posting it here though ;) Do I look like a mad woman? Ok so I might but that's by the by lol

Part 2: OK I'm Calm

I can't even remember where I was when I left off now. I suppose it doesn't matter really. I'm still annoyed about the Maz & Insha thing but as Dave says... I should stay out of it. I don't know what they expect me to do though. They're a couple and they stick together, Dave and I are a couple but I back people who I think are right, and this time I think he IS right so I'm going to side with him. Where does this put my friendship with Insha and Maz? In no-man's land, that's where. I'm pretty much going to ignore them now I guess.

Moving on... Went to see the new Harry Potter film tonight after what's been a hectic day of non stop being out of the house. I feel like I've worked today even though I've been off. The film was OK, bit cheesy with all the teen romance bull shit and pathetic kissing... It was funny though. Harriet and I were laughing so hard at one point the seats were shaking lol. We had some scouse twats sat behind us kicking the seats and talking on their phones, and I just wanted to piss in my drink and throw it at them. The scouse accent is the single most annoying accent in the whole world to me, so when it's sheer volume superceeds the film soundtrack I'm obviously going to be sat there, cringing inwardly and wishing I had a gun/tazer/anything to use on the sod behind me.

Some more Kirsty/Faisal shit is going down at work but although that has also annoyed me today I'm going to wait until Faisal has come back from his trip to Egypt so I can unleash my fury on him like the seven plagues of the aforementioned country. Woe betide him if he defends Kirsty to me after I have made an effort to talk to her civilly for the sake of my friendship with him. I will not stand for his crap and he will need a dentist after I knock his teeth out if he so much mutters a defensive comment regarding his girlfriend. A girlfriend he seems to be so ashamed of that he can't actually bring himself to admit involvement with to ANYONE nor be seen with in the presence of anyone who knows him.

Bitch be cool! OK I'm cool :)

Harriet seemed pretty normal despite burying her grandad today, Charlotte was sick/tired and so didn't come with us to see the film. I never really know what to say to people who have lost someone they love but because her and Charlotte are my closest friends I want to be there for them so I hope my inadequacies in the condolences department aren't unforgivable.

I've probably missed some important point I wanted to make or something I desperately wanted to write but me being me I easily get distracted and diverge from the intended path, run off on some aberant tangent arriving at a place where I'm confounded and can't remember what I originally wanted to say... Oh well. Shit happens. If I remember what it was I'll pop back on and bore you some more. Until then.....

Part 1: MEGA_RANT

Well here's the aforementioned catch-up only it'll have to be quite quick as I'm on a break at work. Today is one of those days where time is viscous and drags like a corpse behind the victorious charriot of the day.

So then... Quick points:

Faisal and Kirsty are "together", already fighting and Faisal seems to be ashamed that he's with her because no one has seen them out in public together. There is now a standing joke about "Texaco Dogging" because they got busted meeting up behind our local petrol station. I'm so changing my facebook url to texaco-dogging lol.

Insha and Maz have fallen out with Dave because he made a comment on facebook that people (all people) who are excessively mourning Michael Jackson's death still, after having never met him or never really having him as part of their lives, need to think about whether they might need councelling. Maz is now getting pretty personal about it and although Dave is a bit of a wind-up merchant usually, this time I believe the fault to not be his but theirs for firstly thinking that the world revolves solely around them and that there are no other people who could possibly also fit into the "mourning MJ OTT" category, and secondly for making it personal and sniping about how Dave will never amount to anything, Mr Negative, Mr Opinion... and HOW FUCKING DARE YOU say that if our cat died and we mourned him over long that you would think "oh for fucks sake get over it" THAT is what has pissed me off. 1. he's a loving pet, not a random celeb we'll never know. 2. he is physically part of our lives, not just some irrational psychological fixation or attachment. 3. MJ danced and sang... if you want to praise someone praise the people who invent/discover things that ACTUALLY change the way your life is, or who make medical breakthroughs that save lives. MJ touched lives... he also touched children. And before you say "he was proven innocent" So was OJ simpson, as Dave rightly pointed out. 4. Your opinion is not worth more than anyone elses and seeing as Insha was never into MJ as much as Maz was it's a little hollow for her to jump on the bandwaggon in such a way. I'm sure there are more points for me to make but my fury is burning now. Dave said don't get involved... but this is MY blog, my place, my opinion and you come here to read it not have it thrust in your face... end of.

Work calls now so I'll finish my missive later. Ciao :D

Quicky

I am the queen of procrastination... no really... I am! I've been meaning to update for a while now because I've got some things to talk about but tonight is not the night for any of that. Tomorrow, I promise.

I'm pretty tired and should have been in bed by now but as usual I stayed up playing Unreal with my online buddies and I have work at 12 :( :( :( 8 hours of hell *ugh* someone rocket me in the face right now and put me out of my misery. It's not even my shift so I'll probably get stuck outside on the hand held for 4 hours like today... Kirsty is still trying to drive me crazy. She succeeds!

Righty-oh! Bed time for me :) sweet dreams!

Random catch-up

Ok, so I'm a terrible terrible person for neglecting you for so long, yet again. I'll just dive into it now without any pussyfooting around... It's easier that way.

After the last Faisal/Kirsty debacle there has been yet another one, involving yet more lies and yet more bull shit. This time I can't be arsed with even getting offended or upset. I guess that just means that the way I feel about my friendship with Faisal has changed. Lost respect asside (again) it's become a problem because not Kirsty has started a bit of a feud with me and is trying to get me in trouble at every opportunity. I'm good for the fight but the continuous "watching my back" is growing irksome and I just wish she'd leave.

Last week I came into work on my day off to drop some keys in for her only to be told to get out when I wanted a 2 min chat with one of my friends. I told her to cram it up her arse and (as I expected) she grassed me up to Mike. He didn't really say anything but I think he knows that trouble boils just beneeth the surface of my composure. It probably does with her too but if it escalates to the point where we have an argument over this shit it probably will turn into a fist fight, in which case, someone will be removing her teeth from my fist and my feet from her arse lol.

I got my platinum trophy for Unreal btw. Joined a clan (PcX) and was happy but now some shit is kicking off with that too and the clan got shut down. The guy who was running it basically told me to fuck off and that he didn't give a shit about the clan anymore. Was a bit of a shock for me as the day before we were duelling and having a laugh. Talk about rapid switch of mood. Still don't know what's going on and IF I did anything wrong - pretty sure the answer to that querrie is No you didn't do anything. I'm also playing part time in an online friend's clan EoT. He's a cool guy so I'm happy to play with him whenever. There are so many people I like playing unreal with that I find it hard to split my time between them. They all like playing different modes so it's not even like I can get them all together for a few matches... hmph!

I've met some cool people playing this game and these are people I want to keep in touch with. I am spending quite a lot of time playing and also now catching up with what's going on in the Unreal community via the iAMgaming forum. Dave is getting increasingly pissed off with me because of this, and although I understand his point of view I am reluctant to give in and cut my gaming time down BECAUSE no matter what I spend my time doing he will always moan that I invest myself too much in it and that I should be more flexible with what I want to do with my time. My argument is that I am not him, and also that this is the way I am, and when I find something I enjoy I dedicate time to doing it.

Tonight I think we're going out for dinner. It was our 3 year aniversary at the weekend and we didn't do much really, except fight 1 day and just doss about the house the other day. I think he's hoping that I won't want to play Unreal tonight but I do.

I started playing Resistance 2 the other day. I've been asked to start playing it so I can play with some online friends... they have a clan (?possibly) and want me to play with them. I'm not even good at it so I don't think they know what they're letting themselves in for lol.

Right... got to go as I'm due back on the floor now. Adios!